13 replies to this topic

[chook099]

So, I am fed up with crappy Melbourne people. I was born and bred here and I need a change!!!
The only thing is, hubby does not do change (hence in a job doing 10 hours unpaid overtime a week!), and one son doesn't want to leave as he starts high school next year. I feel like just packing up my 5 year old preppy and going south for a year.... Is that mean??

[Mystic]

Hi & welcome

Sounds like you really need a break, and I wonder if your marriage would survive the next 12 months if you didn't take it. Tassie is not far from Melbourne. Hope you make the right decision, whatever it is, and the best of luck to you.

[Cascade]

I'm with Mystic, will you survive if you don't take the break. Moving for some can be hard, and stuborness can be frustrating, maybe if you came here as you are thinking and hubby came later for a break at some stage, cuz it sounds like he needs one as well. The Tassie effect might just grab hold of him. Kids adjust quicker than adults and your eldest may get to like it here if he's into outdoor activities and your never to far from a beach. Sounds like the break could be what the doctor might order for you. I guess if you really care for each other it wouldn't matter if you made the move to Tassie for the break, he should want to come and spend time with you, and likewise you should want to go back and have some time with him, in theory, your relationship should become stronger if it doesn't then it ain't never gonna get fixed. I don't believe people should stay together for the sake of it. We are all entitled to be happy in life. If you want to know, I've been there and done that, After 30 yrs of marriage, I'm the one who needed space. Had 26 months of wandering in the wilderness of the World. My partner/best friend joined me in UK after 14 months apart where we spent another 12 months. And yes, we survived and we now have a much better relationship and understanding of each others needs. So it can work. Good Luck with whatever you decide, I wish you all well for your future lives, hopefully together, its hard to have fun all the time by yourself.

[SHETLANDER]

me and my wife are escaping from Melbourne to Tassie at the end of May, cant wait to get away from all the hustle and bustle

[dave]

well to me it sounds like you are at some kind of "crossroads", hard to advise what to do especially when you are on a "down" cycle, I suggest you take heed of the previous advice and take stock of your life, we each have many paths we choose to walk everyday, we come to junctions every second where one selection could mean the start of a whole new life, you sound like you are at one of those junctions, just grab a cuppa, a comfy chair with a good outlook and have a good long think and maybe take stock of what you have in your life, maybe even go as far as grabbing a pad and inscribing a vertical center line with plusses on the left and negatives to the right, this is to do with your life/relationship, be brutally honest but dont exaggerate or lie, remember this is dealing with your inner self, no-one else, if the negatives FAR out way the positives then maybe it's time to do something different, sometimes time spent apart is a bad thing, do you really want this, many questions are to be asked of yourself and your partner, does he know how you feel, have you spoken to him about it, I too was a workaholic, 18 hour days were (and sometimes still are) the norm, I had a mental break down (which is awaiting your partner) I took a stroll with the black dog!! for two years he was my constant companion, I can tell you he is not a pleasant beast, this woke me up to a whole new way of life which included holidays and mobs of travel, my advice (which is not worth a great deal) is to talk to your partner and examine your list, what ever you decide, good luck!!! and be happy! life is too short for unhappiness!

[di on the wallaby]

Tassie is a magical place. It heals and opens up new roads.

[chook099]

You all just said exactly what I was thinking! I just need to get up and be responsible for my own silly self and do it and not feel guilty for a change. Definately aiming at another quicky trip there later in the year to see what work and living arrangements can be made. The goal is the start of Summer!!

[dave]

try to start each day with a smile and a song, it works wonders believe me, it will lift your spirits, look for good things not bad, sure you can find bad everywhere but the good is there as well, it may be a bit harder to find but more rewarding when you do find it, try something different maybe a T.A.F.E. course, doesn't matter which one, have you considered volunteering, maybe lifeline as a phone counselor or perhaps work with the disabled, I have a disabled son (cerebral palsy) there is nothing in this world that gives more reward than helping these fellers, even on your worst day they are really glad to see you, it truly gives meaning to ones day, and god knows they need the help, whatever you decide remember in the end it is all up to you, everybody else is too busy trying to sort their own lives out to worry too much about you, your life, your choices, in the end you look yourself in the mirror everyday! do you like what you see!!!!! if not then time for a change!, go get 'em!

[chook099]

Cascade, on 02 April 2010 - 09:02 AM, said:

I'm with Mystic, will you survive if you don't take the break. Moving for some can be hard, and stuborness can be frustrating, maybe if you came here as you are thinking and hubby came later for a break at some stage, cuz it sounds like he needs one as well. The Tassie effect might just grab hold of him. Kids adjust quicker than adults and your eldest may get to like it here if he's into outdoor activities and your never to far from a beach. Sounds like the break could be what the doctor might order for you. I guess if you really care for each other it wouldn't matter if you made the move to Tassie for the break, he should want to come and spend time with you, and likewise you should want to go back and have some time with him, in theory, your relationship should become stronger if it doesn't then it ain't never gonna get fixed. I don't believe people should stay together for the sake of it. We are all entitled to be happy in life. If you want to know, I've been there and done that, After 30 yrs of marriage, I'm the one who needed space. Had 26 months of wandering in the wilderness of the World. My partner/best friend joined me in UK after 14 months apart where we spent another 12 months. And yes, we survived and we now have a much better relationship and understanding of each others needs. So it can work. Good Luck with whatever you decide, I wish you all well for your future lives, hopefully together, its hard to have fun all the time by yourself.

!! I finally did it!!! I came alone. Hoping for the others to join me later in the year (not holding my breath though haha).
I am boarding in someones house, have a job. Just need to find a social life so I am not spending the 3 days of I have holed up in my room. I have only been here 2 weeks, I guess good things come to those who wait

[dave]

well done, now go out and find some friends!

[Cascade]

Yep, well done from me as well.

Let me know if your ever up this way and we can help you out if need be. Although we are countryfied.... 20klm south of Ulverstone.

[Shane V]

You'll be right Chook. see my answer to your other post
Glad to see you've made a safe transition.

[Mystic]

Best of luck Chook. Whny not see what community groups are in your area and do a bit of volunteering, would be an ideal way to meet lots of new people.

[chook099]

Mystic, on 23 June 2011 - 02:21 PM, said:

Best of luck Chook. Whny not see what community groups are in your area and do a bit of volunteering, would be an ideal way to meet lots of new people.

Good idea. I have been thinking about that!!

Cascade, on 23 June 2011 - 01:27 PM, said:

Yep, well done from me as well.

Let me know if your ever up this way and we can help you out if need be. Although we are countryfied.... 20klm south of Ulverstone.

Love Ulverstone and surrounds. Was up there for a few days back in April. I love the country. Coming from Melbourne, Hobart city central is almost country